Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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