did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
