go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
