It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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