I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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