You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
