I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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