She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Are we still banned from the library?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
