idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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