You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
