I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
