I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
