Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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