that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
