So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
