i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My sheets look like a crime scene.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
