my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
zippers are such a cool invention
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
