I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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