There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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