so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
