I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
