porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
