like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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