just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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