but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
