did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
