Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
