why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
