last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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