Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
