THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
