So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want to make out with him forever
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All I want is dick and wine.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
