C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
