This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So much rum. So many feels.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
