Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've blown a few things in my day
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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