After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
