I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
