I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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