I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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