Is it normal to miss your booty call?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
