I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
