Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize