I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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