and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
