Sry I called you an 8
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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