So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
