I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
