i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
