Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
