Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
